Worthless
by Drdiagnostic
Summary: This one shot story takes place in season five. House has a moment of despair and calls upon Cuddy.


_**Disclaimer: House MD and its entities are the property of David Shore, FOX, and Universal Media Corporation. This one shot story is for sole entertainment purposes and no copy right infringement intended. **_

It is the quiet of night and Cuddy is resting in her bed peacefully. It has been about a month since she returned Rachel to foster care, having decided that it was too difficult to balance everything in her life. Although she felt great regret in relinquishing Rachel back to the system, especially since she had wanted a baby so desperately, it was for the best because she just couldn't handle it alone. Now, she was able to gain peace of mind as the difficulty of being a single parent had been lifted. However, she still needed to play mother to House which in itself is time consuming. Just as her dreams began to take flight, she became startled by the ring of the telephone on her nightstand. After two rings, she was able to gain her senses and pick up the receiver.

Groggy but coherent she answered, "Hello?"

There was silence for a moment as Cuddy was intently listening.

She then said with a bit of concern in her voice, "House? Are you okay?"

Again there is silence in the room for a moment as she listens.

Sitting up quickly, her demeanor now changing to worry she says, "Shh, it's okay. Where are you? There is silence for a moment. "I'm on my way. Stay put. Don't do anything stupid, House."

Hanging up the receiver, Cuddy darts out of bed, gets dressed, and makes a dash for House's apartment.

A little while later, we see Cuddy at House's front door, knocking on it. She calls to the inside, "House!"

When there is no answer, she glides her hand over the top of the frame of the door and recovers the key. Taking it, she nervously and hurriedly begins to undo the lock. She opens the door and places the key on a table near the door. Again she calls his name, "House!"

Suddenly, she looks down the hall into House's bathroom and sees him on the floor. With her medical bag in hand she rushes down the hallway to the bathroom. Seeing him lying on the floor unconscious with his back resting against the wall, she kneels next to him and checks his pulse. His heart is still beating which is a relief. However, she notices that at his left side are an empty bottle of Vicodin and scotch. She begins to slap his face to attempt to wake him up. All these years Cuddy had been worried that at some point House would self-destruct. Now, that moment became all too real. After suffering through so much this year with Amber's death, Wilson's abandonment early on, the death of his father, and her being a foster parent to the baby, Cuddy knew that it was inevitable that he would finally succumb to the emotional distress which held onto him like the arms of an octopus, squeezing the life from his body.

House half opens his eyes and mutters softly, "Just let me die."

Scared and getting choked up, Cuddy says, "Shut up." Reaching into her bag she pulls out a bottle, unscrews the top and tells him to drink it. He stubbornly turns his head away from the bottle.

Getting pissed at him and knowing that she has to act quickly, she holds his nose, pours some of the contents of the bottle in his mouth, and closes his mouth so he'll swallow the liquid. With some fuss on his part, she is successful in her task.

Distraught, he asks her, "Why are you doing this?"

Troubled by his question she asks, "Why are _you _doing this?"

With a distant look in his piercing blue eyes he simply says, "Because I'm worthless."

Cuddy's heart sinks in her chest as she says, "House, you are not worthless. You are a damn good doctor, saving the lives of people who've lost hope. I hardly say that's worthless."

He responds fighting tears under his tough exterior by saying, "That's a load of crap. It wouldn't matter to anyone if I'm gone."

Suddenly, the solution Cuddy has given him begins to work. House quickly grabs the toilet bowl and vomits.

Becoming emotionally wrought with tears forming in her eyes, Cuddy responds to House's statement by saying, "Now you listen to me you selfish son of a bitch. You have to stop believing that your life is expendable, because it's not. Whether you like it or not, your life _does_ matter to Wilson and to me. "

House again vomits and distraught says, "I'm a virus Cuddy and a coward. Everyone around me moves forward and I'm left here….stuck in hell. I just want it to end….the pain….the misery….but I can't do it. I can't make it stop."

With tears in her eyes and rubbing his back Cuddy softly says to him, "Yes, you can House. (She pauses a minute) Yes you can. You always say that you believe in the here and now and what you do matters now. If I were you I'd probably hate life too…..in pain…betrayed….dealing with people who compromise their lives for stupid reasons and God only knows what else. But I remember something you told me once in college…that life is crap and you're the only one that could make it smell sweet."

For the first time, House laughs a bit then gets sick again. Cuddy gets up and runs a washcloth under water. She kneels back down, turns his face towards her and begins to wipe his face and forehead. As she reaches his cheek, he takes his hand and places it on top of hers, stopping her for a moment.

Looking into her eyes he says, "Thank you, Cuddy."

They stay on the floor for an hour or so until House's nausea stops and Cuddy feels that his vitals are okay. Then, she helps him up, guides him to his bedroom, and helps him to bed.

House softly says to her, "Please stay with me. I don't want to be alone."

Nodding, she says sweetly, "Okay."

She climbs into bed with him, holds him in her arms letting his head rest on her chest, and strokes his hair as he closes his eyes and drifts to sleep.


End file.
